Prenatal yoga
The ranks of the "Are you HUGE yet??" crowd have now been surpassed by "You should take a prenatal yoga class" crowd. I cannot believe how many times I have had this conversation within the past few months.
WELL-MEANING PERSON WHO CLEARLY DOESN'T KNOW ME VERY WELL: So when are you due?
ME: Mid-September.
WMP: Are you taking prenatal yoga?
ME: Uhh, no. I'm not interested in it.
WMP: [Eyes light up] Ooooh! You HAVE to take prenatal yoga! It helps you breath and blah blah blah blah
[At this point my brain overloads from having this discussion 1,000 times and I am unable to process any more yoga-related information, so I switch to Yoga Discussion Autopilot.]
ME: Uh-huh. Yeah, it's really not for me.
WMP: Blah blah blah blah blah breathing blah blah stretching
ME: Mmm-hmmm. Ooooh.
WMP: Blah blah mind/body connection blah blah blah blah
ME: Oh, ok. Yoga-Yoga on South Lamar? Ok, I'll look into that.
WMP: Blah blah blah herbal hibiscus tea at the end of each class blah blah blah
ME: Great...cool...thanks for the info.
This is pretty much the script of every social encounter I have now. I always feel bad for these people because I know they mean well, but they just have no idea how hopeless their efforts are. I've been waiting my whole life to have an excuse not to exercise without feeling guilty, and pregnancy is it. I'm not going to let some yoga class come between me and this golden opportunity to do nothing. Plus, I'm just not a yoga person. Everyone I say that to interprets it to mean I just haven't found the right yoga class, but I'm really not. I'll detail all the reasons why in another post, but to summarize:
- I already know how to breathe.
- There are other ways to relax that don't cost $25 and take an hour and a half out of my life.
- I don't care about improving my flexibility.
- Yoga was not designed for people of my height. I'm six feet tall. Whenever I try to get my body into those ridiculous positions I end up looking like the Jolly Green Giant on quaaludes. It's not pretty.
I've tried explaining all this to the "You should take a prenatal yoga class" crowd but the only effect it has it to add another 15 minutes to the conversation. Maybe I should just ask for a t-shirt that says "Please don't talk to me about prenatal yoga" as a baby shower gift.
Comments
I cannot believe it, but the those people don't bother me that much. It's usually well-meaning older ladies and, try as I might, I just can't get pissed at them. Very surprising.
If it makes you feel any better, I have been doing the prenatal yoga thing (on dvd because, ew, other people,) and now that I am 29 weeks along, I am finding more and more of the poses completely impossible.
I just found your site, so I am going to go hoover up some of your archives instead of being productive. Thanks!
Can I say something here?
You fucking rock.
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Have you had to beat off the tummy molesters yet?